It's lonely hearts season...

As predicted, I did INDEED became complacent with my blog. I'm OK with that. I started reading through my posts for class, and am horribly embarrassed by the spelling and grammatical errors. (Although, if I recall correctly, I still ACED the class). I could remove them, but I like to look back on my writing and reassure myself that I am improving. Hopefully my posts this time around will become more articulate, and have an easier time expressing my ideas...
Anywho! "Lonely Hearts Season". I think I've declared every season this year that. Everyone around me has been struck with "Noah's Arc" fever; desperate to find a counter part. And I sort of feel caught in the crossfire. Whether it's being on the phone with a recently broken heart 'til the early morning hours, or the misguided object of lust for an especially lonesome fellow. What makes it all a lot funnier is that my two year-long relationship has recently met its demise. (Someone told me it had something to do with Mercury and where it's aligned... I think it's just because he couldn't pick up a phone). I can't be too much help in the relationship department. I don't feel qualified to offer advice, or good company for even temporary companionship.
Folks are just going CRAZY! All everyone wants to talk about is how they're alone, and what they're course of action is to rectify the situation. It's hard to stay interested when I'm pretty determined to be on my own, and be OK with it. I honestly don't see the point. It's a lot of unnecessary stress.
My equivalent to all of this I suppose is just missing those who have been in my life. Being home and not very social has given me a lot of time to reflect on the last couple years. I have determined several things in the relationship/friendship department:
1) More often than not, people get bored with me. At some point, I stop being an amusing caricature, and reveal myself to be just another human. I watch TV, eat food that's bad for me, and sometimes just don't feel like having "intellectual discussions". And SOMETIMES, I can't always be clever and LOUD. This disappoints a lot of people I meet, I guess. They evaporate from my life. Soon followed by my heart cracking.
2) The people I end up missing the most are the ones I've managed to always keep at arm's length. I know that I've idealized them to the point that the version of them that I think I know doesn't really exist. I am conscience of all of this, and it's OK with me. I reminisce and miss of their memory that can never disappoint me, and I'll always have a fondness for them, and pray to God that we don't ever actually meet.
3) I'm absolutely terrified to get to know someone. It's a combination of both "one" and "two". The way I disappoint people, I don't want to in turn be disappointed. And I want to always like them.
4) I can like just about anyone. And I can also alienate just about anyone. This is all done on a whim.
If I were honest with myself, I'd admit I'm just as lonely as everyone else, just maybe in a different. It's equally pathetic.
But I still haven't cried over the break-up. It's been about a month.
None of this makes sense! But, as I've declared many times before, it's Lonely Hearts Season. I can be as illogical and self-involved as I damn well please. Especially since I am using a blog as the medium to express all of this. Blogs are fueled by self-importance.
Thank you for reading, if anyone is : )